5 things to do to help your patner

These things may seem obvious but when you are worried and stressed you often forget the simple things that you can do

1. Find out about the illness, in order to understand what is happening to your partner you need to know as much about the illness as you can
2. Talk to your partner about how you are both feeling, the guilt that a woman with PND can have about what she is doing to her partner can be enormous so tell her the truth and talk about how to make it better
3. Encourage your partner to use whatever resources you can find to help, try to ensure that she has time away from the baby even if you have to force her
4. Talk to someone you trust about how you feel
5. Be patient as it will get better.

Male post natal depression

Post natal depression in women is a widely recognized illness, but a far less known condition, male post natal depression. The main reason that this condition is less known is that as with many things men often find it difficult to talk about it. Many men do not realize that they are suffering from the condition or that it even exists. Studies have shown Post natal depression has been linked to an increase in depression in a large number of men.

Male post natal depression sometimes occurs as a reaction when a man's female partner is suffering from post natal depression. Many men have said that coping with their partner’s depression leaves them feeling overwhelmed, isolated. It is thought that male post natal depression has led to or contributed to the break-up of many marriages, as a number of relationships break-ups after the birth of a baby. But many couples are totally unaware that post natal depression is the cause or one of the causes of the breakdown of their relationship.

Many, many women hide their post natal depression and they do it so well that their partners are not aware that they are suffering and are at a complete loss to understand the reason behind their mood swings this is the same with male postnatal depression.

It has been theorised that another possible reason for male post natal depression is that many men find it difficult to cope with the birth of a child. Having a baby and the new responsibilities that that brings can be very stressful, especially if the male has to work during the day and cope with the child at night. One of the biggest issues for men when it comes to male post natal depression is a lack of support and understanding that men receive. There is a lot of help for women and there are many support groups, but there are very few places for a depressed father to turn. In addition to the lack of support there is the mans inability it talk about their feelings and to admit that there is a problem.

Symptoms include:

• Feelings of isolation and mood swings.
• Substance abuse
• Lethargy
• Anxiety attacks
• Loss of sex drive
• Problems concentration
• Headaches
• Loss of appetite
• Stomach pains

If you are suffering any of these feelings and they don’t seem to be improving then it is really important that they are taken seriously, and you should see your doctor. All the time people are recognizing male post natal depression and there is more support out there then ever before so if you think you may be suffering get help

How to help a woman with PND

It can be both difficult and frustrating to live with someone who has PND. Perhaps the most important thing is to recognise that someone suffering from PND may need encouragement to seek help, and support to get it. Help her to find someone to talk to in depth, and reassure her that she is not going mad and that she will get better. Make sure she knows that you will support her, and not abandon her.
Practical steps include helping her to get enough food, rest, and exercise. Try to ensure that she doesn’t spend much time alone to cope with the baby. A sense of isolation can be the most stressful aspect of mothering. Support the idea that she deserves to have a daily treat, and enable her to get it. Above all try to listen to how she feels and be patient.

There are many useful organisations try: www.pni.org.uk or www.mama.co.uk

Tips to help PND

Below are some simple tips that may help:

• Try to get at least half an hour a day me time as often as possible every day if it is possible. All mums need a little space to themselves it is not a crime
  
• Try to get as much rest as you can.
  
• Ask for help with the house work, most partners or families will not help if you don't ask, they don't want to offend or interfere.
  
• Try to get as much fresh air as possible, go for little walks with the baby
  
• Try to get help with the feeding routine if you are breast feeding then express the milk and let someone else feed them this is especially good at night as being tired worsens the symptoms.
  
• Try to be flexible, e.g. with sleep times, feeding times etc - it's less stressful for you and your baby.
  
• Sometimes its hard but try to see all the amazing things about your child just look at them and remember that they are a little miracle.
  
• Above all else give yourself a break, new mums are often their own worst critic, just remember that there is no such thing as a perfect mum.
  
• Go to mother and baby groups, meeting other woman in the same position as you will give you a chance to share skills and experiences and to realise you are not alone. Some of our mum don't enjoy these clubs because the mums have been competitive and false but if you feel that try another group, most are great and you can find life long friends
  

Above all to get some emotional and practical support try to speak to your partner, family or to a mid wife or a G.P

If your symptoms are severe there is no point in ignoring them or trying to be brave they will only get worse as time goes on. The first thing to do is to admit how you are feeling and then tell someone who can help, the first step is often the hardest but once you take that step you are on the road to recovery. There is no shame is admitting how you are feeling you are suffering from an illness like any other. Your child needs a mum who feels well and for that to happen you will need help.

Treatment

You may well not need medication to begin feeling better. If your symptoms are mild our mum's say that often just talking about how you feel can make a huge difference, many have turned to self help books or groups and found them hugely beneficial. Medical experts suggest that the best treatment for PND may be a combination of practical support and advice, counselling or psychotherapy, and if necessary, antidepressants.

Puerperal psychosis

Warning: IF YOU HAVE ANY OF THE SYMPTOMS BELOW YOU NEED IMMEDIATE HELP:

severe Insomnia (i.e., no sleep at all )

loss of control with huge mood swings

loss of confidence ( e.g. fear of leaving house, of social interaction, or seeing friends, fear of or withdrawal from looking after baby, fear of being on alone)

thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

scary fantasies

manic behaviour (e.g. cleaning in the middle of the night)

hallucinations or delusions

It may be that you are suffering from puerperal psychosis, fortunately it is fairly rare, affecting only one in 500 new mothers, but it’s the most serious kind of postnatal illness. It can come on suddenly a few weeks after the birth, and starts with the mother being very restless, excited or elated and totally unable to sleep. She may have delusions or hallucinations. She may be manic or have wild mood swings from high to low. Her behaviour may become increasingly bizarre and disturbing to those around her, and she may lose touch with reality. It soon becomes very clear that she needs help, and medical and social support and it is very important that she receives it.

Treatment of Puerperal psychosis
Treatment often involves a hospital stay and the use may include stabilising drugs, strong antipsychotic, and antidepressants. In extreme cases the doctors may want to use electroconvulsive therapy. It may take a long time to recover completely, but the sooner it is diagnosed the better the prognoses.